Michelle's Story

My name is Michelle*. For more than a year I was invited to go to Celebrate Recovery, a program offered at New Life West. I did not want to go because I did not want to be converted or join a group where I would not be accepted. However, one evening, I finally did go to CR and what I discovered that evening began a journey of self-discovery and growth with God who continues to this day to change my life.I grew up in a Roman Catholic family where my grandpa was more Catholic than the pope and every Sunday we went to church. However, when I turned six, suddenly church and faith were eliminated from our family life. My parents taught me that we can only trust in rationality and science and that you can not trust in anyone except for yourself. I missed the feeling of someone or something being there whom I could trust so I began worshipping that which would gave me security in life: a job or money.

Then in May 2012, the crisis hit hard in my field of work. I lost my job and found myself with huge debt unable to pay all of my bills. I applied for all kinds of jobs, but was rejected everywhere I applied; including the corner supermarket. I realized that I was addicted to being in control of my life but now I found out that my life was totally out of control. The first step of CR: “I admit that I am powerless…over my behaviour and that my life is unmanageable” became a reality.

In the third step of CR, I struggled with the idea of turning my will and life over to God because I was mad and my life was out of control. One day however, I realized that I did not have a goal or a dream greater than making more money. It was then that a friend from the church told me, “If you don’t have a dream; ask God for one.” 

I got a notebook and I started writing my prayers to God. My first prayer was, “Thanks to CR I have decided to take time every day to have a good conversation with you.”  I started taking walks in the woods by my house and there in the middle of the woods I experienced God speaking to me. I then told him, “Alright God, I don’t know what to do. I am powerless and I don’t have the control of my life. I give my job and my dream to you.”  At that moment, something happened. A huge burden fell off my shoulders and things started changing. The rest of that year, I kept repeating to myself, “I am powerless, God exists, and I give my life completely to Him.”

Since then I have seen my new independent business double in clients. I have seen growth in my business, but more importantly I don’t live to serve the false god of money anymore. Whenever I get nervous when two clients call to cancel an appointment I grab step three and say, “I have control issues and I don’t want to fear but I want to surrender my life to God. I feel fear, but I choose faith.”

My prayer life has changed from a grocery lists of wants to thanking Him for today and for the good things he has for me. I always end with, “the dream you have given me is wonderful. Help me to achieve it, but even more allow me to become more like the person you have created me to be. Help me to stay on the path you have made for me.” (*Michelle is a Pseudonym).